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Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Eighteen more minutes !!!


5.40 PM.... 5.41... the clock doesn’t exactly tick on the desktop. It just alters the digits on the least significant corner of the screen indefinitely oblivious of the presence of others, smoothly, without any hurry and discreetly.

Probably you can remove the last adverb, discreetly, since I have been watching its each movement for the last 40 minutes, without the blink of an eye, not even leaving it for a second, wishing sincerely it to move fast so that I could be out of this air conditioned cubicle to enjoy the hot, humid , breezy summer evening outside as fast as possible. 

But, it’s crawling in its own pace , perhaps taking more time than usual.

See, it is still there at 5.42. 18 minutes more to be out of this hell, I thought.

Bored of the hostile movement of the time , my glance quickly moved to the recent neighbour, date.

With the grand announcement of 17th April , the date ridiculed , “Dude , u have a lot more counting to do for me

,tomorrow, the next day and for around 50 more days too” .

I sighed, leaned back on my chair and tried to glance around. The second favourite place to monitor/count sightings at this big boring place just came right across the eye. The large cubicle right in front of my desk. Fully enclosed with the semi-transparent glass, the cabin didn’t have much space but enough to entertain people from the opposite party.

Confused about the opposite party , whom they might be ? Don’t stress your cerebrum in those directions much. I meant clients only, what else you have been thinking?

The room was dark , few chairs were scattered inside along with a small sofa. The large designation plate in front of the door wasn’t clearly visible in the darkness. Most of the people outside the cabin had already left, except few who were still making enough noise on the keyboards to disturb this serene office-scape. 

Leaned back comfortably on this uncomfortable chair, I tried to scan the glass room carefully. Lights off, monitor blank, Water jug half empty.

Great, I thought, “He won’t be back, today.”

I was just about to finish the observation of the room; the sight of an object almost choked my heart. Right beside the dumb landline which was still radiating red spectra amidst the serene darkness, there lied another black beauty, but in this moment, the ghost.

The laptop, in its sleeping mode was still out there with its mouth wide open. For some moments, the lids seemed like the mouth of the ghost who can grasp me at once, if I don’t send the regular daily prey, in this case, the daily report.

Oh , the report . How the hell could I forgot to make one today ?

With its(laptop) presence felt, the declaration of threat came in no time “He would be back!!!”

Like proper Hindi movies, although I am not a big fan of them, the last line kept echoing back in the background.

Suddenly , a terrible sensation hit the back, is it a heart stroke? But, strokes are not experienced at the back, my common sense in those uncommon seconds suggested. Terrified enough with the sightings at the front, I couldn’t muster any more courage to look at my back. Paralyzed.. no... The sensation felt again... this time a milder one, I turned back. Oh, it’s my group mate, who is back from his hourly naps. The formalities like why he was beating me and then his subsequently complaining of ‘I’m not beating, just asking’ seemed worthless and irrelevant at this moment.

“Are you done with your daily report?” I asked.

“Dude, Are you kidding, just around couple of minutes left and you are asking about the job of the day. I had already mailed that before my last nap. By the way, have you forgotten today also? ”

Time, day, laptop, and now this entity called ‘Group-mate’; after being ridiculed from all possible corners; I decided to focus upon my computer screen, and this time not on the time/day part.

Preparing the daily report became the need of the hour. He’ll surely be back and would check the mailbox. And after such a lousy day, I don’t have any patience to read the short yet sharp mail from the big fella who unfortunately happens to be not only my project guide, but also the boss around here.

Wish I could really report what I did the whole day !!!

 Reached 10 minutes late , went for lunch for around two hours (that wasn’t exactly my fault , the restaurant guys made us wait for an hour and my lazy test buds took the rest lavishing upon an expensive diet) , played a major part in emptying the coffee machine just in three hours along with my group mate , surveyed /glared /ogled /(any other sophisticated words you can put to help you)  the mostly decorated desks and their lovely owners , hummed the ‘Pani Da’ song indefinite times, and also , at some point of time used my headphone to save my ears from dying out of unbearable silence . Of course I researched with the help of the web, and made some really foolproof strategies also, how to plan the next weekend in Mumbai and after the summers. But, as usual, the research couldn’t be complete because of the lack of social networking tools. As you know, professional and personal networks come handy while doing a research. And the research wouldn’t have been completed without those stakeholders. Yes, I’ll be completing them tonight, when I’ll reach my room.
See, how dedicated I am to my job, taking that extra mile to serve my purpose.

Anyways, the job needs to be finished. And the clock declared 5.53. The new tab of microsoft outlook opened with the target of scribbling around 1000 words in 7 minutes. I should be ashamed if I can't do it after countless boring seconds spent in WAC classes learning nothing.

I don’t want to be late, I won’t be, and those lovely sights on the Pune malls and roads are waiting for me. I can’t let them down, I won’t. With the thoughts, I ventured to finish the day's work with the tab of google with "synonyms of strategy, innovate, conceptualise and “it depends” " written on it. 

Wish me luck .


BM.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

A princely morning and the story of a lappy !!!

Being inspired from the brilliant ad of 'DOCOMO' , I have been finally able to keep my days at this planet silly and simple !!! After investing the whole morning in sleep (A lot of people term it as 'sheer wastage of time') and after three attempts at regular intervals of thirty minutes to wake up , I was finally able to really wake and sit up straight from the clutter of blankets . Waking up at such late hours of the day gives you the feel of a prince / spoiled kid of an ultra-rich parents. But, after those few precious moments of stardom, you experience a free fall to the abject poverty of hunger . Breakfast time is over , nothing left in the cupboards , even no water in the bottles . And your princely persona prevents you to move your ass off the bed to do something about it, at least wash the face. Maybe we all wait for that dream coffee /tea to be served within moments .

Then comes another princely moment. Regardless of all the mundane needs of hunger and thirst , the so-called prince summons its laptop and smart phone to reach the castle of blankets immediately. Being a loyal servant, smartphone reaches immediately. But lappy, carrying its ego of the most valuable general in the aid of the prince reaches late . Coddled by the passionate love from the master (revealed from the action of touch of soft hankies to clear the dirty screens) , the lappy finally surrenders itself for another battered day . The day he remembers turns out to be a monday, here comes long hours of work, assignments, projects, boring series and all , and the same playlists played dozens of time . He can't complain , the only enjoyment he gains when the master downloads from the covert folders termed as 'personal documents' and 'new folder(1) , (2) , (3)' . But, it's unlikely that he will be able to watch any of them on a mon day or at least for next 2-3 days. 

A life spoiled... he thought . How many dreams he din't have when he was bought to go to an IIM . Life would be fun, he thought .Moving in the hallowed corridors of IIMs within the cushy membranes of the delicate bag specially bought for him , saving photos and beauties with brains , writing analysis and recommendations for the world's top most companies and executives , visiting skycrappers with posh infrastructure and availabilty of call-girls(wifi) at any point of time , Life would be sacred , he used to think. 

Stark reality dawned upon in no time. Forget skycrappers, he couldn't visit the regular classes  since some professors have been pissed off with him. It visited villages where his own personal bag was even forced to carry dirty underwears and other bad stuffs. It developed several scratches over its shiny beautiful face. No more beauties would be attracted, 10 point wifi remained a distant dream; even 7 point (no more virgin in terms of speed) LAN cable couldn't materialize  . So-called beauties with brains tossed him with assignments, reports , and presentations. It stored photoes of old batteres schools in villages and even dark dirty pictures of rural and remote places.  

Even , it couldn't enjoy the beauties of youtube and other such cool stuffs due to over demanding fiancee 'LAN Cable' and its stringent father-in-law 'ITCOM' . Life became a dull , mundane affair. A beautiful career spoiled, he thought . 

Facebook and IIM-I mail became unwarranted friends , although facebook sometimes provided relief by funky videos and images, IIM-I mail never ceased any chance to make its life 'HELL' . Grade marks, assignment deadlines, reminders from some really stupid neighbors as if it had taken a huge debt from them, and to the worse, long long mails from the academic associates made the life unbearable. Trapped most of the time in a small cube in the patal-lok, he looked forward to a day, that would remove all its woes, would make its life full , when he would find his true love , and maybe like all movies, he'll live happily ever after. 
But, that day din't come. At least it hasn't yet.


Life has been screwed up completely. Sometimes he curses his master like noone else by hanging up at crucial deadlines and failing to play some really good porns . But, he also sympathizes with the pity of his beloved master , the prince. Over time , they have become good friends . He cleans him everyday by the special hankie he has recently brought from his home town and with the liquid to clean the LCD display. Now-a-days the lappy is also looking somewaht handsome and picks up the attention easily within the otherwise spoiled and dirty room . 

The future now is uncertain. He has given up the stupid idea of ''suicide" that stuck him somedays earlier when some assignments he did fetched the master 'D' grade. Holy shit !!! The prince has never achieved anything less than A till now. And how dare these ugly TA's to grade him 'D'. His previous desktop never disappointed him . He felt guilty that because of him, the master suffered, he din't live up to the expectations. But, in a similar hankie-session, the master coddled him and threatened lovingly 'Don't you ever dare to think about those things, my friend .' From , that day onwards love and respect has increased in magnanimous proportions for the prince. 

The dead life seems to carry on forever. But, deep within his heart he still believes the happy days will come and a sense of excitement to enjoy those days with the beloved master lurks somewhere in his sense. But, the priority now is to survive another day, he thought... 

Morning has already been passed, a fine rest over the weekend has already been enjoyed, happy days are not far, he smirked.

The cleansing process ended, and he geared up with two tabs , the mail and the facebook....


BM.








Thursday, May 12, 2011

School Bus


I am not boarding the morning bus anymore...
But in the chilly morning of November,
I saw that little bus today

As replete with boys and girls always,
It shievered a wave of nostalgia inside  me...

He didn't ask me anything...
Neither did it offer me a ride...
Nor he was supposed to do something kinda that...
But I asked him a single question,-
"Are you ok, old pal ?"
He nodded, thundered at the unbearable ageing engine and drove way...

I looked forward at the bank of fogs...
Dispersed , Dissipated , fragmented into clubs of vacuums...
Caused by the the machine just vanished...
And remembered how I used to feel the chill and quivering jaws,
Not so many winters ago...

Yes,it was lovely,
No,it was gloomy...
Yeah, it was lively,
No,it was colourless...
It was great to live the moments,
Naah, it was just a wastage of time...

Whatever it may be , it was something...
Something I can cherish upon,
Something I can regret for,
Something I can lament about,

Something which I can ponder over
and then end up laughing incessantly...

Something that I can share with my best friend,
'LONELINESS'...

But hell, I wasn't satiated...
In the quest of everything ,
I ended up in nothing , absolutely nothing...
Nothing, nothing, nothing...

B.M.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

A day that used to be ...

(As I was browsing my notes and copies of my earlier years as I preserve them so dearly , I came across a paragraph written on the back side of a copy of 3rd year and I had good memories recollecting it... Of course it was written while dodging off useless lectures in the backbenches and here it is ....)


There is nothing new in this morning. As usual I woke up late, hurried  for brush, and finally was able to deliver myself for the bus.  No need to say that such occasions which may seem somewhat peculiar to readers and most obvious to me are often mapped with aberrant response from the environment.  The bus came unusually early proving strongly to the above stated  proposition...

The bus is as usual in its jubilant mood . Indistinct chattering  are pouring in from every possible corner of the old 1980 govt bus. My group is rightly placed at the back. The royal group; everyone welcomed in their respective odd sense of humour. Some of the greetings are so unique that they should be patented with their respective bloody inventors ....

The morning session is to be seen with some of the greatest boring lectures I have witnessed in my so far eventless student career. I actually can’t remember what exactly these classes deal with , but to tell the truth the faculties are so frustrated and to add to woe , so obsessed with their long frustration generated probably in their sophomoric yrs that it would be utter nonsense to expect interesting sessions from them.

After 2.5 yrs of stay in this college , I am utterly convinced to the fact that the branch of  COMPUTER SCIENCE AND ENGG along with its  illustrious bunch of students are adulent enough to spoil a perfect bright and fine tuned day..
Though I am soon going to be an element of this big pool , I don’t feel like inheriting this major attribute.

The classes are running as no one waits for them; days are passing by as no one is interested in days since nights steal the limelight.

For me both of them are not running , they are crawling most awkwardly ..

Life has come to a standstill , dreams  defined in earlier life are now redefined not to dream , plans scheduled to make no plan , containment seems a useless term now...

Forget about dreams , nightmares have been also dear now a days since I am being used to the habit of daymares containing ghostly silhouettes having definite shapes and demonish figures well known to me at every crossroads of my life..................


B.M.

Last few Days !!!




Amidst the chaos of Bin Laden being killed, Arunachal  CM gone missing, but rescue operation yet to resume cause boys are busy debating whether that son of a bitch(read  Laden) is still alive or not ; the orange cap and table top position doing merry-go-rounds @ IPL, Jairam Ramesh playing 20-20 @ orissa gallis with opposition as POSCO ;  
                    my last few days went peacefully.  The last 2 weeks prior to that had definitely been the the most painstaking period of my life which had taken a lot of my evercharming ebullience and vivacity. Results, results everywhere ; not one worth enough to see . Rejects after rejects without any reason that is under sun and  perseverance of my human brain , WTH , isn't it enough ? Cell switched off to discourge any blabbering of any poor soul how sorry he/she feels about me ; Less fb, more fb, Addicted to pagalguy, den What A fucking site it is and vow not to return again here , but still lurking anytime for any fortunate/unfortunate updates coming in those most revered threads. Gtalk status: unavailable, wait a day, red-hot-busy, wait another day, Grinning-green-available :P , watching bhawani's buzz updates which song he is listening or else, follow me @ bhawanidy...rest u know @ what, twitter :P


The last college internals have been a royal affair too. I am definitely sure that we must have clicked more photos than the no of words we have put on the papers and the no of minutes we have spent inside the exam hall.  Though it's not the appropriate time for me to comment how I feel after succesfully taking (not yet completing :P)  those 141 internals in the span of 4 years, but it's definitely necessary to acknowledge the importance of these internals in shaping and moulding of a charismatic career of mine :P . The grand career of cheating in exams started here and m certain dat i would get at least an E in this paper and will never disappoint my alma mater by showcasing such skills in various facets of my life :D


Apart from these internals and all , last few days have been awesome. It is not that I didn't get any bad results or was not depressed. It was also the time for an ill timed semester results that ruined everything whatever remained in the final engg. career and another reject. This time I had a hearty laugh  when I saw my LCD screen shouting those regret words that sorry , u are not in the list . But I have diversified my days into several activities and believe me I am back to my previous and my favourite status, being busy. But, this time it's not the study , not the preparation for any goddamn semesters or any exams , I am busy now living my life.  Let me describe you a typical day for me. I am waking up @ 4.45 AM much to the surprise of myself for jogging with 1-2 of my closest buddies, don't stare @ me when i said jogging, I am doing this to remain fit :P


The travel to outskirts of the city and watching sun rise in the sky @ riverside is always awesome. Those solar rays before being more threatening later in the day definitely piercing your soul and giving you a purpose of the day. It reminds me as everyday is distinct, another leaf in the booklet of my life and should be written with utmost care and precision as other days. Watching several deities on the way without entering the temples , stealing wild nuts which I had never tasted earlier from the temple side trees ,marking which trees we would target in next 15 days , relishing mommy's breakfast which tastes s amnesia now a days , sleeping day long with no one to wake up , bathing in cold water of the well, playing ludo with mommy to kill time during powercuts, watchin a couple kissing each other in the park and complaining with yagnya 'kab hamara bari ayega :P', selectively choosing the least costly ice creams in the basket cause they look similar to ones we used to relish @ schools, incessantly laughing with mota watching old photoes of class , undestanding and  loving a complete new language "JAVA" , watching slow, zero tension comedies and duck tales, these are few glances how I am killing my time now. 


Life as I learnt ain't about money, time and age. It's not definitely all about milestones, basking in glory and success, mourning over failures. Yes, there are defining moments. They  come late, leave fast.
In the long wait and deep moanings before and after the big moments, we lose the actual and precious living  moments.   

So why should I care about something which remains for a flash in my memory. Life is all about enjoying every bit of moments, cause it is short and it is precious. Deriving pleasure even @ the least funny incidents is an art and I guess I learnt it. Even it has been  the hard way, but hey ,

                                           "To err is human . Ain't it ?"

Ending this piece with a quote from Groucho Marx,

"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."


signing off,


B.M.



Monday, May 2, 2011

THE QUEST For VENGEANCE





Drops Shedding from my eyes...
Am I crying?
Hell No,
A man of Iron Will never cries !!!

Eyeballs are more red than white.
Am I crying ?
Hell No,
I am just refusing to see anymore
What I have been watchin for last several days !!!

My  eyebrows swelled up
Am I crying ?
Hell No,
It's just a sign that I am gaining a bit more fat now-a-days.
Good for me,
Ain't it?

I won't agree with you 
that I have run out of 'LUCK'...

I don't believe you
saying that something good is waiting for me...

You know what, you are so  wrong to predict 
that it will be alright...

It's a goddamn fucking lie that
"THIS HAPPENS & SHIT HAPPENS !!!"

This ain't shit ...
This ain't bullshit...

This's that fucking destiny awaiting for me...

And it can't wait anymore...
It's charging towards to embrace me...
Lethal blows all around...

But I refuse, I resist...
I know, effort is futile.

It'll engulf me, 
It'll thrash me in the darkest corner
where your so called ray of 'HOPE' & 'LUCK' can never glance upon...

But I promise,
It 'd be made to payback.
Fallen would rise.
Innocent would avenge for the blood of the beast
called 'DESTINY' & 'LIFE' ...

It's just a matter of time,
And for reference, I gotta plenty of it to play with...

You have no right to rule my life and you never will,
I am the master of my destiny,
I am the captain of my life...


(dedicated to all who have been severed by the backpunches of 'LUCK ' and  'Destiny')
B.M.

"SALAM KOLKATA , SALAM INDIA"





"Ami tumar ghar jami..."

"Nishay, Nishay acbe.."

These are the last words with the house owner whose house we had rented for 3 days in Howrah.  Not a very good accomodation to be honest, but  the man was able to come out even at the chilly morning @ 4 am and talked for few minutes in bangla while we prepared to leave the sacred city. And that's why I like about Kolkata...its undemented spirits and everenthusiastic atmosphere.

Well, to be clear about the theme of this piece which I am penning after many days, it's in no form a travelogue. I am not gonna tell you guys about what are the places there to look out for, cause I know you all have been to that place and know much more about them than me. And honestly, time didn't permit me to see and adore a single damn beautiful thing other than the monumental structure of Howrah bridge and the cosmopolitan cubes emerging out in the Salt Lake Areas.

But I saw KOLKATA...in pure contrasting forms...on one side there's  the  large cosmopolitan area SALT LAKE CITY with posh cars, lavish lifestyle and the tinge of corporates and companies and educational hubs in each vapour of air...while at the other end there's downtown Howrah, streets rustling with coolies, yellow cabs, people, and countless shops and markets with the most uncleanest environment to its credit.

I  saw the city in the eye of an ordinary man. From an educated man or a guide u may know about the information, the history , the theory, but to know the heart and soul of a city, u gotta know it from an oldman who has breathed in and out the whole city. And regarding history and info, who wants that...just google it and tons of pages will flood ur browser. Yes I saw it through the eye of my grand father (not a direct one, one among the complex web of a joint family structure whose actual relation I too might not decipher) , he was just a matriculate and worked in a textile factory for more than 30 years there. When we requested he agreed to come with us to assist.

I saw the people, the crowded lanes, the people running aimlessly, yellow cabs, trams with zero people inside, but still running, older people sleeping on the sidewalks, small children alming to get a handful of rice a day, the grand Howrah station and the flood of people, the innumerable buses in the busstand all coloured in sky and yellow, the rickshaw pullers ; though not actually in the state as such they are mentioned in the Lapierre's book "THE CITY OF JOY" , but I conclude yes, it's a city of Joy. Rather I would strike that word Joy out and replace it with "SPIRITS".

"LAND OF SPIRITS"; That's I wanna tell you about. As you'll see the color of yellow everywhere in the form of taxis and cabs, it signifies that colour in traffic posts : READY TO GO. yes, that's what is KOLKATA. Maybe you may question about the recent EDEN GUARDEN incident, but I will remain silent about the issue since I have stopped following cricket. :P
And about readiness, be it the chilly morning of four when the cold water of the holy Ganges shivers your skin  or the busy afternoon of 4 when you may have to wait an hour to move 100 metres in streets; KOLKATAITES offer alertness and fragility. That's why I have devised a jargon 
"WANNA SEE THE SPIRIT OF INDIA, SEE KOLKATA"
The city seemed to be running a marathon always . But I haven't seen Mumbai, Delhi so my perceptions may vary when I will see them and that's the plan this summer :)

In the evening, the streets show you spark and vigour. As we marched in the streets with uncountable no of people, I had to hear about the markets, bazaars, there is book stalls, there is fruits market, Mangala haat, this, that , ohh...I put it in one ear and drove out in the other. Who wanna know about these markets, tell them to my father who was listening these stupid things like he's gonna do a market survey there. :P

But the most interesting part was both father and me were walkin on the streets holding hands of each other. Ohh...I had missed that from long days since. Father used to take me to school in similar fashion  when I  was a tiny tot.. and now when I am tall and large...the same experience again is awesome. I wish, I could add 2 more things ...two beers in hands of each other ; both father and me...making cheers and getting drunk. Father and son walking together with matching footseps and sharing drinks... how more romantic can it be...(I m sure some , specially girls can never understand this feeling...)
so, conditions apply....:P

Of course, it's little impractical here, isn't it?? But, Replace beers with a glass of scotch  and the street with  drawing room with the channel of TV switched to an enthrallin cricket encounter...and I hope and wish, by the next World Cup, my dream would come true....haha...I know it never willl...but what's the harm in dreaming...:P

I am not in the mood of writing more though I have lots to tell about. There are important concerns for me like kpl, fb, movies, and of course a little (more) rest at this hour than writing a stupid blog what approximately noone will read . But OMG, I have forgotten to tell one thing ....Girls can skip the next para and move to the last one...:P

How a boy's story can be complete without the presence of feminine factor in it. The long desire to see Bengali girls on the Bengali streets was cherished finally. Well, I won't say more , but man, I was stumped by the symmetry. Everything in proper order in perfect symmetry. You guys must have got the clearest ideas what I'm talking about.  Well, there were some class instances of this visit. Once I had chased a girl for abround 100 metres just to see her face. But, wth, then I realised I was walking with my father and he was still bargaining with certain vendor for something. Oh...classic save, isn't it..
But, when I again thought of the girl, she had vanished into the crowd. Shit man, but from the back I can say in CHOKHA CET language..."A  M..A..A..L".

OK,that's it, enough bakar bakar...well I forgot  to mention I went dere for some SERIOUS (:P, hah, u mst be kiddin :P) business; IIFT GDPI... well that story for another time...cause I dont wanna spoil my jovial mood by inserting those moronic tells. But a dialogue from the inteview panel to conclude this piece of classic idiosism and madness,

"Yes, you, you are a fresher, u r 4m CSE, u hav great acads, ur favorite subject is OS and u know nothing about it. That's great."
(Are yar, Operating Systems aata to yahan Organisation Systems padhene ke liye PI dene kyun aata ...:P)

Yes, I'm great, so r u guys...

Signing off...

B.M.